My Personal Hell For The Day Started At 12:05 AM
***WARNING-Personal Venting***
Yesterday was a long day of fighting with this computer virus…Trojan Horse…sitting in front of the computer scanning and rescanning…clicking the virus boxes away that kept popping up and stopping or slowing the progress of the scan. I found a free program AVG…but it may still be too late. It seems to finds the virus…which is in multiple locations…and when you click to get rid of it, I get a message that not all viruses can be “healed”. I have managed at least for now to keep the constant boxes from popping open but I know its still in there. I am running another scan as Im typing this on a word doc and will hopefully be able to log on.
I went to bed at about 11:15 and watched a little tv to help distract my brain…got sleepy a little before 12 and shut off the tv. As I was drifting off…a loud knock on the door and the door bell rang. At first I thought I was dreaming…then I heard my daughter, who was still up watching tv. Yep…someone was at the door… at 12:05 freakin AM! So I grabbed my robe and went to the kitchen window that faces out to the side door (the one everyone uses). Some guy was standing there with a clipboard and I figured, oh great…he probably has some papers to serve and I have to sign. Ive been thru that…opening my door in the late night to some strange man. So this time I just opened the window…he said he was here to get my car…DAMN! In the middle of the night??? I said, Im sorry but no. If you come back first thing in the AM I will be here and get it out of the garage, nut that I was not going to open the door up in the middle of the night to a stranger. HE gave me his cell number…said if it was a voluntary handover that would be better and to call him after I cleaned it out…also he kept apologizing. OK…so back to bed but now Im wide awake. I put the tv back on to try to wind down again. 12:45…a friggin door bell ringing and knocking…again. He’s back but with his scrawny boss I suppose who has Napoleon syndrome. Felt like he had to be mister tough guy and talked down to me and said he was going to call the police for possession of stolen property! I broke…that was it…I got dressed…went out and cleared the few thing left in my car. See, I knew I would have to turn it over, but I didn’t think it happened like this in a bankruptcy. I called him a few choice names…he thanked me for calling him an Ass! Arrogant jerk! I was shaking and crying so hard…unfortunately, my daughter was there to see it. My 14 y/o was sleeping, thank God. My daughter gave me a hug and then I just cried by myself for a while. I knew it would happen but HOW it happened was not necessary. Not to mention, it just really reminded me how vulnerable I feel being on my own. When I tried to stand up for myself, the guy called me out on it and I broke. How am I going to protect my family? Again…thanks Jeff! Thanks for what you’ve done. And once again…I am left ALONE to deal with the mess. Think I fell asleep somewhere close to 4. After getting my son on the bus this morning (and having to break the news to him) I went back to bed for a couple hours. I am dead tired…drained.
True story…he and the repo guy on all the trucks…are friends now. The repo guy is supposed to be taking him skydiving. That’s how things work for him.
Yes…I am venting…I am angry…and right now feeling very bitter. I am sick to my stomach and feel like Im going to be sick. I know that will pass and the urge to eat will come full force…Honestly…I don’t even feel like fighting anything right now. This had been a hellish week.
Today I have to see if I can get the emissions test done on J’s car…then I get to drive around in the car he and his girlfriend did…pissy??? Me??? Uh, yeah!
I know if you’ve read this…it sucks to keep reading angry or sad blog. I keep trying to make the best of things…but how much more can I take and truly not break? I keep thinking I will just back off of here for a bit until I can get it together a bit and have more happiness…but I don’t want to be without you guys. I think if I wasn’t on here I really would have gained every bit back PLUS a lot more. I need you guys and BS. So, if you need to back away from my downer crap…I truly understand. I don’t want to be the negative, unhappy person I seem to be right now.
Don’t know how much I will be on in the next couple days…or if my computer will even continue to keep going. Ive got a lot of packing to do and things to figure out…this week has distracted my so badly. I will try to get on when I can to read blogs…I hate not being on here to read your blogs. Just know I love ya and am supporting you in spirit if nothing else.
My apologies if you read this thing…and thank you for loving this screwed up girl! HUGS to you all!!
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(((((((((Debbi))))))))) I am so sorry. As for ur computer, AVG is the one I used but what I had to do to get it completely off—and it is hard to explain—I had to go through all my computers programs and delete the ones that were put on there by the trojans. I dont know how I did it but I did it. I am not a computer person but I did it. Clear as mud and vague as ever, huh? Maybe one of the kids could help? Stay strong—this will not BREAK YOU—OR RUIN u—U will prevail—Thinking of you~
Debbi such a sweetheart and my heart breaks for you. You’ve had a full plate and its high time for things to go your way.
This blog was not negative in the least….you were sharing what is happening in your life. We are your friends….here for the good and for the bad….Friends for life
Lets look at that good side. You’ve lost so much weight, and you look absolutely amazing!!! I know how hard it is to smile, but it does somehow makes things doable. I try to find something to laugh about everyday.
I wish I could say something to make it better….I will say this, you are in my prayers…your children too. Somehow God will guide you through and you’ll have peace again.
Love you very much Debbi
Jane
Oh wow Debbi I feel so much for you right now. I have no clue how you’re feeling, only that it’s really bad. I’m glad you can come on here and blog about it, and I hope that it can help to make you feel even just a little bit better.
I am so sorry for all that! What kind of idiot shows up in the middle of the night for the car? You are right, he’s an ass. There was a better way to do that. I have been struggling with a lot lately too (though nothing like this) and have felt like staying away from BS, but I have found I feel better and do better with sticking with the support and buddies here.
I feel so bad for you right now. You have my sympathies for sure! I used to work collections and send out the repo man. I can believe that they came out at midnight. It’s not because of you, it’s because of other people who do not give a rat’s ass about anything and do everything they can to play keep away with a car they have no intention of paying for. It makes the people like you who are trying to do the right thing look bad.
((((((Deb)))))) Oh sweetie, If I were there I would have given Napoleon a run….little man syndrom indeed!!! Stay strong, and don’t worry about your kids…just always communicate with them
It will be ok. We are all here for you too, so don’t feel like you can’t vent. Blow it all at us girlie, we can take it! 
lol!!
SO sorry you had to go through that, but they do that so that they can find the car. They knew you would most likely be home.
Your kids will not blame you, just keep on loving them and do what you can.
((Deb))
Debbie…I feel for you…I truly do.. I know how hard it is to raise a child on your own. What an A**hole that Jerk was…I get that they have to deal with a lot of trashy people…but, you’d think he’d be able to wean out the good from the bad. I say tell that &&**%$###-J, to stick his car where the sun don’t shine! You can do this…all you need is to build up your strength and fight. Once you start doing that you will be on the road to recovery, and I’ll stand by your side every step of the way.
Oh no, how terrible. I have heard they take cars during the night.
but with kids in the house! That is just crappy.
We are all thinking if you and I pray things turn to the better.
I would have handed it over without a grumble if they would have just given me a little respect and not come in the middle of the night. That was scary for me to go out there like that.
Thank you all for the comments and support…Im feeling a little better tonight…working through it. Love ya!!
Debbi–ohhh that makes me so mad that jerk repo the car that way! Well, I am a firm believe in what goes around- comes around and that guy will get his payback for his little ego trip!
As for the computer–oh how frustrating! I run to hubby for that so I dont know much on that kind of stuff.
As for the car, I said before–fabreeze (spelled right?) the thing and make it yours! Lets see….trying to think of something special that you can do to make that car feel more like yours…mmm. No ideas, ideas anyone??? But, I will tell you one thing–you deserve that car girl and your kids need you to have a car. Remember, its not the cars fault that it was used in a bad way ok. Put the anger where it belongs.
As for the sad/angry blogs, girl, this is your lifeline just like mine. I also get tired of writing these types of blogs. When something else pops up–its like, are you freaking kidding me! However, just remember, this is our SAFE place where we can let all that crap out so keep writing girl! I’m waiting for the day me and you can say—omg, finally, things are working out for the better! It will happen we just got to make it through by hanging in there.
Love ya girl!
YOU ARE NOT SCREWED UP!!
uhh… i wasn’t finished with that! you are going through an incredably hard time right now and i think anyone would be emotional/angry/sad at times… you are human. if you need someone (or someones as the case may be with BS/blogging) to lean on, then LEAN! that’s what friends are for!
i’m sorry that things are so rough for you right now… the way that your car was taken was awful! hang in there… things will get better.
Been thinking of you…hoping that things get better for you soon. You deserve a fresh start! Better days are ahead just keep pushing yourself one day at a time.
debbi all that is happening is going to make you stronger…i know you might not think so now…but I KNOW…it will…it might take a while and you have the right to feel anger and everything else you are feeling…look ahead you might not see the light at the end of the tunnel but it will come….believe it or not you will come out on top…time will show you and you will look back at this and laugh… wish you the very best.