Black Cherry Nail Polish & And Some Whitesnake
My nails are not long and pretty but I painted them up with some black cherry polish and Im polishing up my attitude (trying). Yes…I got sick of myself…my crappy attitude. Guess life is going to keep punching me in the gut so I better just get used to sucking it up.
I am going to enjoy my time out tonight (no drinking cause I am in charge of driving myself) but I do believe I will pick up some of those peach wine coolers Ive been wanting and will have them when I get home or over the weekend.
Today and over the weekend, I will be re-looking at what I want to focus on and get into gear. I do not want to keep backsliding or stalling and make no progress. I can get to goal by the end of this year…if I put my mind to it.
Yes…I have a lot of scary crap to face and deal with…honestly, I feel like there is worse to come in regard to a few issues that I will keep silent on. BUT…I still have to live each day. I have to get strong and learn how to accept it is what it is and enjoy what I can. I have to find help for the things I don’t know how to do on my own…when Im lost like yesterday, not knowing how I should have handled a situation. I don’t like asking for help…but I need to learn. (My stomach just did a dip when I typed that…hate asking for help…but I will.)
I think I will sit down and make a list of all the things I need to deal with and a possible solution or way to go about it. Those things I can not answer…I will seek advice on.
Im 43 damnit…I need to enjoy life…I need to be a good Mom…I need to learn to value and love myself. So I start with freshly painted nails…some deep deep breaths and an attitude alignment. Here I go…again…I think this pretty much sums it up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKTiwCez6Zs
Here I Go Again lyrics
I don’t know where I’m going
But, I sure know where I’ve been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
An’ I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again
Tho’ I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I’m looking for
Oh Lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on
Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
An’ here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time
I’m just another heart in need of rescue
Waiting on love’s sweet charity
An’ I’m gonna hold on
For the rest of my days
Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
An’ here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I’ve ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time
But here I go again
Here I go again
Here I go again
Here I go again
Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
An’ here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I’ve ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time
An’ here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I’ve ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
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Sweet Debbie, I know its hard.
I’m sure everyone else will same the same, but I take little tiny baby steps. I think its great you are making a list of goals.
That will help keep you focused. You are way to young to be unhappy. Your life is in your hands….have lots of faith and rely on God and your friends and family and I know you will be back on track with all that energy and motivation!!!
You take care,, and have a great weekend:)
Hugs
Jane
Hmmmm, my comment is in moderation??????????????? I DON’T like that!!!!
So its in your folder Debbie
“I ain’t wastin no more time…” so glad you are thinking that way (again.) LOL
Thru the ups and downs, twists and turns, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
((((HUGS))))
KEEP ON HANGING IN. YOU ARE DOING GREAT! HAVE FUN TONIGHT!!
We must be on the same wavelength! I bought a new lipgloss and nail polish today. I am so ready for some changes. I have decided if life wants to keep messing with me, I will meet the challenge and look good doing it!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH HONN!! You know I love you! Stay strong and positive as you are right now!
There ya go! I felt so mean for the comment I left for you today. Everyone was giving you loving comments and I did some but came back with tough love. But, I swear it came from love!
I never think you have a crappy attitude, I think you have one of the best, really. I am too lazy to paint my nails but I feel so pretty when I do
Not crappy atitude, great atitude! I never ask for help either, but its about time we learn ,sometimes the burden os just to much for one person. Keep your eyes ahead…your going to be FINE!
P.S. Don’t forget the toes 
I was trying to decide.. blog it or write to you. Decided to just put this here. I went through similar about 20 years ago. The ‘girlfriend’, IRS audit, divorce, ‘Step children’ that I retained custody of.. (All I can say is I married badly.. ‘What’s love got to do with it’…??) Yeah, there is ALOT to swallow. I survived and you will TOO!
Also, I’m having a crappy day. Probably not a good day to write.
Advice is free… JUST SO NO!! So here I go…
“Guess life is going to keep punching me in the gut so I better just get used to sucking it up.”… NO! You sound like a VERY caring & loving person. You deserve better! TAKE CONTROL.
“I have to get strong and learn how to accept it is what it is and enjoy what I can.” NO! I AM STRONG, AND I WILL ENJOY MY LIFE. A “now” situation??? Try.. “I’ll get back to you” or “I need a minute.”
HELP.. well, if I knew how to fix my oven, I would not have had to call a friend to fix it. Help is for things you don’t know… Help is for things you do know, but know you can’t do alone. Your friend’s will always help you, because they are your friends & know you would do the same for them.
You are right to focus on the problems & pick your battles. PLEASE.. set YOUR boundaries & say “NO” when needed. Some things may be seem somewhat out of your control… but DAMN.. this is REAL life. We are human (just like everybody else) and can only do so much.
I am tired & and a little stessed myself today. If I crossed the line… I won’t apologize, but you’re more than welcome to throw it back at me.
I wish you all the best… ‘SlowMo’ Liz
PS… I really hope you had a great night out with friends.. You deserve it.
I painted my nails today too and felt like a million bucks until I messed 3 of them up, dammit! lol…black cherry sounds pretty, ship that to Philly when you’re done
Asking for help is always ok! No one has all the answers. Have fun tonight…hopefully your friends can help you relax, laugh, and have a good time.
ps you can also ship any extra wine coolers to me as well!
LOL! I love, love, love that song. It was a great reminder of the struggles we all share on this journey. We are all here for you! You can do this. You’ve done so well so far…keep it up!
I hope you are enjoying yourself right now!
Okay, first of all you sent me into serious nostalgia with that song. I can hear the wheels on the roller skates, feel the wind in my hair, sense the colored lights from the disco ball, and smell the rank odor of rentable skates!!!!
Second, I know things are super tough right now. Just remember that “it came to pass,” it didn’t come to stay. You are going to have a lot of adjustments to make, but you are a strong woman and deserve to be happy.
Third, Your not really alone girl!!! you have all of us!!! We stand behind you and will support you. Ever need a shoulder to cry on, just hollar okay?
you’ll make it through this, but i agree with liz- “i am strong, i wil enjoy my life”… it’s a good motto! and ask for help when you need it- that’s what friends are for. besdes, how would you feel if you knew one of your friends needed help and wouldn’t ask for it? so don’t worry about asking! it’s not a bad thing!
Yea for you Debbi, sounds like you have a great plan! Don’t feel bad for asking for help, everybody needs help, else why do we have friends.
You are dealing with so much crap right now that I’m not sure anyone would know how to walk through it and not get to feeling bad, I know I would just don’t blame yourself, so much of this was not in your control. You will be ok, I know I keep ging back to my daughters experiences, but she is a good example, after 3 bad marriages(yes3)
she finally took control of her life and thngs are going good. It’s not perfect, but she did make it through some really bad stuff. You can and will too. Just hang tough and take care of yourself.
Debbi, I love Whitesnake…hehe. Now I need to hear that song.
You have so much strength and as people start to see this new life grow in you (including you), you will feel more and more strong. Love yourself today Debbi. Those red hot nails are just the start of this transformation.
Have a wonderful week, for you! *hugs*