It’s Here…
One of the many upcoming days I have dreaded is here. My thoughts are past this afternoon to this evening…when it will be over…the hearing part anyway. Then, Im told it will be about the end of April til it is complete.
I slept about 6 hours…took sleeping aid to help. Started the morning with a phone call…technically a Nextel beep (hate them). My 12 y/o is home for the day…issues with his “boy parts”. Hard to know when to believe him. He hates school and is always having some sort of problem. Cant deal with it today…just told Jeff I would get him here and he could stay home. After that I shoved two chocolate chip cookies in my mouth…dumb dumb dumb! Knee jerk reaction. I just ate a bowl of Total Cranberry…pretty good. Hope to set myself in a better direction that way. Honestly Im surprised I can eat at all. Probably wont eat until late this afternoon/evening. Hearing is at 1 and we have to be there a half hour earlier. I know my nerves will get worse as it gets closer. The butterflies or whatever they are are churning around right now but not horrible. Found out from the attorney on Friday that this is in a room filled with other people. We will see and be seen by everyone else in there this afternoon. More humiliation!
Today is also my parents 46th Anniversary. I am blessed with them…I truly am! Their marriage is not perfect…but it is committed. That’s what I wanted. Oh well…not gonna go down that path. Whats done is done.
Well, by the end of the day I can at least check this off my list and look to the next “problem”. One at a time…on down the line. I don’t know how long it will stay with me, but I feel a bit of my fight back in me today…just a smidge…I want to enjoy my life.
Again…I thank you all for your support, encouragement and love. I swear I don’t know what I’d do without you. How crazy that “strangers” can become such treasured and loved friends. Your words mean so much to me…harsh or soft…serious or silly. THANK YOU! I am going to be alright! Im crying because I feel an overwhelming sense of love…I know its you…your thoughts and prayers for me. And I feel a sense of peace in the midst of my crazy, whacked out nerves…its God, telling me it will be ok…more tears…gotta go. I will be on later…don’t know how much. I think all my kiddos will be here with me tonight…
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Good luck today! And dont worry about those other folks, they are feeling the same way you are I am sure. I will keep you in my thoughts this afternoon and pray for the good Lord to give you strength thru all of this. You are a strong person, dont forget that!
Lol, somedays it’s just too much to decide whether their excuse is just a reason to stay home or if there’s really an issue… somedays I just don’t care… Maybe he just has a need to be close to you today?
Good luck today, deep breaths, just try to stay relaxed and focussed, you’ll get through. And like you said, when this is over, next problem to focus on… one at a time, day by day.
Happy 46th to your parents
From experience I will tell you that today’s
“event” will be over before you know it and it is really not that bad of an ordeal.
Godspeed my friend!
LaTina said it all. “Deep Breaths!” That is what it is all about. I realize that what is going on is hard, been there done that and the t-shirt I bought, went to her in the divorce! But this will pass. You are not alone in any aspect of this. You are a strong person and yes maybe you slipped a bit with the cookies but that does not make you a failure in any stretch. It makes you human. Never stop reaching and striving to be better. So take your deep breaths, throw your head back and thumb your nose at every little obstacle you encounter today as you are a person of greatness and achievablity. Let us know wwhat happens.
Thinking of you today D!
Deb, you will get through this… you can start looking forward to tomorrow because tomorrow the hearing will have passed.
Please try to eat something light before you go… if you come out of it hungry and stressed I’m afraid you’ll do like I do in that situation and eat anything in your path.
My thoughts are with you today, I know it will be hard, but try to think of it as a new beggining and a new path for you and your kids. Try to stay calm and don’t worry about those other people. They are in the same or simular situation as you and believe me they aren’t worried about you, they will be thinking about their own problems. Hang in there and try to eat something good for you, ( and I don’t mean chocolate!) can’t have you getting weak from hunger. Love and hugs for you my friend.
Debbie, you will be in my thoughts and prayers all day. I know you will be strong.
I’ve been through what you are going through, and it will be over before you know it. But I understand your fear its to be expected. Just stand strong and be the Debbie we all know and love!!!
Then you know what?????????? Its a new chapter for Ms. Debbie…and you can MERGE!!! into your new life, less stress, more peace.
Remember this, it is the honest truth, When God closes one door he opens another.
Sending Hugs and Love
Jane
I hope the courtroom is empty so it wont be as humiliating as you think it will be. And yes US “strangers” love you Deb and wish you the best through all this… 1 tough situation down a few more to go, just keep thinking happy thoughts :o)
p.s. I know how it is to be able to stuff your face even in times of trouble & when you’d think you wouldn’t want to eat. Weird I wish I could lose my appetite when I’m feeling cruddy.
Don’t worry about being humiliated in front of the others in the room. Everyone in there is having problems of their own and are likely feeling the same way that you’re feeling.
Sending much love and prayers your way. God will be your strength. Hang in there!
Woke up thinking and praying for you!
Any time I’ve been in a courtroom, I am too focused on my own deal to worry about anyone else in the room, so I doubt anyone will really pay much attention to you. For once that will be a good thing!
Any time I’ve been in a courtroom, I am too focused on my own deal to worry about anyone else in the room, so I doubt anyone will really pay much attention to you. For once that will be a good thing!
I’ve been thinking of you all day.
Smiles, found a tiny spark of fight in ya huh, good for you girl!
Praying that things go well for you guys! love ya debbie