Learning To Put Myself First…It’s Not Easy
Into a marriage and then especially after kids came along I began accepting being last…putting my needs, myself at the bottom of the list. I mean, isn’t that what we as spouses and parents do? We take care of others out of love. When a baby comes along and is completely dependent on you are you going to say…sorry little one…Mommy needs to take care of ME, you’ll get your bottle and clean diaper when I’m finished. Ah…NO! And so it begins…we shift our needs and well being to the “if I get time” list and we know that never seems to happen because life happens. We become ok with throwing on sweats, pulling the hair back in a quick ponytail and maybe not getting a shower that day. I mean we are just gonna get puked on and have our hair pulled, right? Why bother trying to look nice when you are up to your elbows in poo diapers and baby vomit? Before you know it you are bigger than ever.
For me I had a lot of built up anger and resentment because so much fell on my shoulders alone. So of course more eating came with that. It seems as unselfish as I am…as I thought I was…I was EXTREMLY selfish in one area…FOOD! That is where I tried to make it all better…to sweeten the bitter resentment. Then I found out food also had numbing powers…even better!
It’s a hard reality when we come to see what we ourselves have done to our bodies. We can blame it on so many things…but when you break it down, it all comes back to us and our choices. After the realization comes the action…taking the steps to put ourselves as a priority. I have come far in learning this…but I still struggle. It doesn’t take much sometimes for me to hop in the back seat again and think I will get to my stuff later.
That happened yesterday…really nothing major but I let my plans change so as not to disturb people. Figured Id just get my exercise in later…nope! Miss Violet came for a visit…such a sweetheart! After that came dinner…and by the time it settled enough for me to workout…I was pooped! (Not getting the best sleep). OK…so Im not making excuses…just trying to be aware of the whys and changing it. I need to be a priority without feeling guilty…I got extra helpings of guilt when God made me…don’t know why…I think it runs in the family.
Anyway…I guess I am just talking this out…trying to understand it to change it. Trying to make sure I don’t fall back in the old patterns.
I guess bottom line is…life will happen and I will have days I miss taking care of me…BUT, I have to make sure that one day does not turn into two and three and so on.
I did well food-wise yesterday…just not exercise and water-wise. Today will start with exercise as my priority. We are getting our first “measurable” snow today and tomorrow. Nothing major…I think up to 5 inches or so. School has been cancelled (a sarcastic YIPEE from me). Maybe I will play in it today…it’s been a long time.
I hope this blog doesn’t sound depressing or down…I am not…I’m still dancing! Have a great day buddies!! Boy…Ive got a lot of blogs to catch up on 
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I know it is hard to put yourself first and sometimes it just isn’t possible. Don’t beat yourself up too much … just try again today. You are doing great and glad to see you being positive!!
Thankfully, we are kind of allowed the…learn as you go deal. Its not all or nothing. I am glad your dancing and not depressed over this. Its a learning experience. We need these times so we can figure things out.
Your right on how we end up taking ourselves last because everyone else needs us first. So glad its time to reclaim our spot in the top.
We deserve it. The healtier, happier we are the more we can give to others anyway.
Have a great day today girl. Chin up, shoulders square and lets dance though this day!!
love ya, Debbie
There are many days I slip and want to blame someone else, because I ultimately put someone else first and let my needs and wants slide. I get mad but later realize the one I should be mad at is me, for letting that happen.
Great blog! Love it that you are thinking these things out instead of just reacting impulsively. Progress for you Debbi. Love it!
You are right. There ARE going to be those days that some things get in the way. It’s life, but I’m proud of you in the fact that you are mentally preparing yourself to NOT turn it into 3 or 4 days. Again, progress!
Life gets in my way an aweful lot. Thus the reason that I schedule my ME time at 4:00 a.m. It’s the only way I can make sure I have my quiet time with God and my physical exercise time for my health. THEN, the rest of my world can wake up and make their demands on me all they want.
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS,
Shan
GLAD YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO HAVE TIME TO DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF. YOU ARE RIGHT WHEN WE BECOME MOM IT IS LIKE WE ARE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST AND THAT IS HARD TO CHANGE. I HAVE THIS PROBLEM TOO!!
This is the hardest thing to learn, don’t let one day of something, (not exercising or eating to much or what ever),don’t let that one day derail you. We are not going to be perfect, so learning to carry on when we dropo the ball is something we all have to do . At least, you are thinking! Way to go.
Your right some times things happen! We just have to deal with things as they come! Not every day can be a me day! I have had so much family issues lately I have put me last again, but starting today I am going to try again to find at least some me time every day!
Big HUGS!
Loved your blog! I am so there with you. It’s so easy to put ourselves last - I am so guilty of that. Keep encouraging me thru your words. Best wishes.
I’ve been that way for a long time. I never changed it until I got divorced. Now my needs are just as important as everyone else’s. It is a hard adjustment, but we are worth it and better able to care for others if we get our needs met.
No not depressing….I hear you Deb. You are making changes and that’s all the matters hon.
No not depressing….I hear you Deb. You are making changes and that’s all the matters hon.
Your blog is not depressing it is truthful. I love it because it is completely true. As soon as my son was born I too put myself on the back burner and totally forgot to ever even check on myself. Not anymore…My son is at an age now that he don’t need all of my attention alllll of the time. Keep up the good work hun.
Very insightful, I think it is a natural thing for us women, but at some point we have to take care of ourselves first so that we CAN be there for others. You are doing awesome
I know from experience that putting one’s self first can be very hard.
Get out there and play in that snow! It’ll be a GREAT workout, and at the same time you’ll likely make some awesome memories too.
Have fun!