Beginning To View Challenges As A Positive Thing…Thanks BS!
Ok. So I’m dealing with a lot of difficult, negative stuff in my personal life. But I was thinking about something POSITIVE yesterday. There are some challenges here at BS that I enjoy…WHAT?!? I said to myself (I do that…talk to myself…hey somebody has to).
I have never been a competitive person. To the point of ridiculous. An example you ask? Ok, you know merge lanes? HATE them! I don’t care if the other person gets in front first…as long as they go at least the speed limit. But it’s at that point when you are both approaching that I feel funny…like I COULD take you…but I don’t want to be pushy. I know, it’s dumb…just another thing I don’t “get” about me.
Alright, anyway…I was never the child picked first in the dreaded gym lineup to choose teams. Never played team sports other than neighborhood football (that was mainly to get tackled by the boys). I always feel defeated…before I begin…like I CAN’T accomplish it so why bother.
A few years back when my husband was still here. I asked him to show me some good workouts. He has always been interested in taking care of himself…and he does look good. One night during a workout, he was pushing me…in a positive, CHALLENGING way…I broke down…started bawling so hard. I felt so silly. It was hard to try to explain that to him because I didn’t really understand it myself, at least not enough to put words to it. That was the last time I worked out with him that way…my choice. Can’t help but wonder if I had not given up then, where WE would be now. Ok…away from that subject.
Last night, watching Biggest Loser, Amy (I think that is her name) broke down, and Jillian pressed her for the reason, she said because she is afraid of failing… I’ve heard it before, but guess it never FULLY connected with me till then. I FEEL like a loser so I may as well BE a loser. Sad.
So, My thinking is that these challenges here haven’t made me feel that way. I feel like it’s done in a safe place, in fun, understanding and love. There will not be the class jock to poke fun at me because I don’t measure up to his or her abilities. I can be truly happy for someone when they achieve things here, because I know they are working just as hard and struggling with similar issues.
I thank you guys for showing me that challenges and competition can be a positive thing. It does give me drive to accomplish more and do better. Thank you for giving me that.
Had to throw this in cause it’s what I usually feel like 
I think I can…I think I can…OH CRAP!
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You can do it. It’s a mind set, and you can set your mind to feel positive, whatever state your life is. There is always something to be positive about, and positive people succeed.
If you imagine you are not deserving of winning, or feel that someone will find you wanting in some regard you are setting yourself up to failure. You can’t please everyone, and not everyone will like and admire you. It’s simply not possible. So if the class jock poked fun it is because they were insecure, immature or just a jerk. A true sportsman, whatever their level, always helps and encourages others. Focus on the people that help you, not the ones that bring you down. Don’t be discouraged by those that see your success as their failure, or a threat to their position.
I’m probably the flip side to the old you. NOT THE NEW YOU!!! THE POSITIVE, I CAN DO IT YOU!!!
I nearly always feel positive. I don’t know if explaining my attitude can help you see why feeling positive, makes you feel good. Like, it’s raining now (we have had a very wet summer) and I think “Oh good, the plants in my garden are getting watered”, not “Oh no, I forgot to close the windows on the top floor this morning and the rain will be coming in”.
I feel success, I imagine success, I focus on that success, and you know what, I succeed. Maybe not the first time, maybe not even the second, tenth or twentieth time, but I will succeed, and I do. I refuse to give up when I get my first rebuff, or if the first attempt isn’t exactly how I saw it in my head. I visualise success, and until I succeed, I consider all the previous attempts merely practice runs. I absolutely will not let a practice run stop me from eventually succeeding.
I don’t really know why I am like this, as I am one of a big family and had nothing especially good happen to me growing up. I wasn’t picked out as some golden child or anything like that. I was average; normal but not ordinary. I just felt that I have a purpose. Perhaps that is because my identical twin drowned when I was seven, that it could have been her that was saved and not me. I know I must make my life count for something.
I grew up knowing I was in the generation who could change the world for the better, and I still feel that way, and I still try and do my little bit.
I know I will succeed. I know that failure is not an unsuccessful attempt, but failure is not bothering to attempt something.
With regard to my weight, I imagine myself fit and slim again. I see it, I feel it, I know it is worth a million pieces of pizza, or bowls of ice cream, or whatever it is I am tempted with at that time. I know I may be lazy and discouraged at times but I know the most important person I will be failing will be me.
I will lose weight, I will be fit, I will do my bit to encourage others when they feel low, I see myself as a winner, and the only thing I want to lose is weight and inches!
YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!!
I love your blog. I can relate in a couple of ways.
Gosh, my ex tried one to to workout with me when I was at my heaviest. Of all things he wanted me to run but I’ve never exercised in my life. So we went to this part that was mile squared - 4 miles total - and he wanted me to run the whole mile. Just a few hundred feet into our jog I started complaining and he urged me to go on. I remember yelling at him (I was really mad at myself) for pushing me too hard and that I hated running. Well, that was the last time we tried exercising together. It was 3 years before I attempted to workout again.
I love your outlook on the challenges. No, you won’t be picked last and no stinking class jock to make fun of anyone - just us to say you go girl.
Have a great day Deb!
We’re in this together Precious One. No class bullies, no anxious nail biting. We journey and take on each day as a Virtual Family. Hang in there. Your Buddy’s love you!
I’ve always looked up to the good sport who I ran into once as a fat, unfit, little girl. We had done something competetive in gym(long since forgotten what) and I had “failed” miserably…or at least come in dead last. He looked me directly in the eye and said “great job” and something to the effect that next time I’d do even better now that I knew the ropes… That image of his eyes and his sincere tone of voice stuck with me through many bad gym situations through the years.
So, Debbi… Great Job… and now that you know what you’re doing… I’m sure you’ll do even better next time!
SEE! This is what I mean…you guys are awesome and I thank you for the support, encouragement and understanding!
I meant to say, you are doing so well. Excellent progress in less than a perfect time for you. You really are emerging now to the new more confident you.
Wow…these guys really came out to support you. I just cant say it any better then them. The only thing I can add is what they have already said..but this part is worth repeating…we are a family…we love & support you in any way we can. Many blessings..
Love Debbie
Girl…you are definitely spreading your wings…and learning that you CAN fly…and that you don’t have to be afraid. You are a strong, beautiful person! And I KNOW you CAN!!!!