Broken
It’s been a while…and there are reasons. I’ve had an unbearable number of things going on in my life. I’ve tried to write many times and just couldn’t do it. There are things I want to say and I will try not to expand deeply on some of it.
- In regard to this site…I really don’t want to start a debate or trigger a blog for someone to play victim again, but there are a few things I need to say. I backed out of here about a month ago due to someone judging me (wrongly at that) not only openly on a blog but sending personal messages. This site was giving me much needed support and some wonderful friendships, but the actions of one made it unbearable to be here. If this site REQUIRES me to respond to someone’s blog so I don’t hurt their feelings than this isn’t the place for me. Not everyone “connects” with everyone on here and I shouldn’t be judged because of it.
- In regard to my life…I am losing everything. The business, my job, my home, my car. I don’t know where I will live yet or what I can even afford. I’m still not certain if the marriage will continue, its looking like it won’t. I’m trying to keep my kids in the same area for school and friendships, especially since they had to reestablish four years ago when we moved, but I don’t know that I can. My family may be further split by my husband possibly moving to NC for work and most likely two of my kids would want to go with him. I can’t bear the thought. Emotionally I am a mess. I go from not being able to eat, to eating all the comfort foods. I desire Gods will for my life and I know He will provide even if it may be working at a fast food place and living in a tiny apartment. It’s the unknown that scares me, especially when it comes to my family. My life is nothing like I thought it would be. Never did I think my family would be torn apart the way it has in the last couple years, and when you think it can’t get much worse and you can’t bear one more thing…many more things pour down. I know God will bring me thru this and I pray I will learn all He is trying to teach me but I am scared…terrified, so terribly sad and brokenhearted. I can take losing everything around me, I can, but my family being split makes my legs go out from under me. Please pray for me and for clarity in the decisions I face.
I thank you all for the support and friendships. I hope to be around here for a long time, but if the nonsense continues here on BS, I will be quietly leaving…I don’t have room in my life for the frustration. I will not blog that I’m leaving if it comes to that, so, if anyone would like my personal email to keep in touch in the event the childish games continue, please send me a message.
Thanks for listening and for your prayers.
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I’m so sorry to hear about everything that is going on in your life. I know absolutely nothing about the BuddySlim conflict you’ve had.
Drama is horrible. It doesn’t end with High School, unfortunately. I always thought that hurtful tiffs between girls would end when I graduated school, but realized it goes on. I’m a daycare teacher and struggle with drama between us teachers daily. I hope that because of the drama that has gone on between you and whoever else does not push you away from this site. It’s a marvelous tool and I hate to think of you having to lose this resource because of petty differences (or whatever the case may be).
As far as what’s going on in your personal life - you’re doing the right thing…keeping your faith. God sends us tests all the time - extraordinarily difficult ones to make sure we are 100% faithful to Him. And if it comes about that we’re not, hopefully we’re able to correct that and devote everything inside our beings to HIM.
I pray that you have the strength to get through all of this. And that your marriage will survive as well. Everytime things get horrific in my marriage and we almost end it - I remember that the divorce rate is 50%. I don’t want to be part of that 50%! I want to do absolutely every possible thing I can do to raise my kids with both parents (especially since my husband and I both grew up in divded homes and it’s really affected us negatively).
Be strong - keep your eyes to the Lord and read Matthew 6:25-34
Debbi…I love you! I have been praying for you and trusting God to bring you through! God is good…and He works ALL things to good!!! ALLLLLLLLLLLLL things to good! It will work out for you! It is in these very types of situations that He is glorified!
I love you girl…and I am here…and if you want to come to NC…I will help you in anyway I can!
So good to see a blog from you…
I know what it is you are talking about…and I am praying about that too. God is bigger than that mess too! Hugs!
Katie, Thank you for redirecting my eyes to that passage, I will hold it close. Thanks for your comments and support.
Chrisie, I love you too!Yes God is good ALL the time and I pray He will use me through this and because of it.
Hey girl, so glad to hear from you again. I dont know who you had a despute with-it dont really matter though-I know several people have had problems…but, I know this…this site is for loving support..thats all that matters.
You have so much going on in your life, and I’m so sorry for all your troubles. I will keep praying for you and your family. May God send many blessings and that your rough road will be a short one.
Love Debbie
I have sure been praying. Please don’t let people drive you from here, there is a lot of good. Hugs, Kama
Thats so horrible! *Hugz* I am so sorry, I hope things get better for you soon, And as for whoever is doing this to you on BS, BEAT IT!!!!
Your in all our hearts I hope everything works out soon!
Deb, so glad to hear from you, I’ve been praying for you!I have missed your sweetness! Sounds like you are going threw alot just know God will carry you threw. As for the site. I hope things are okay for you now cuz I know this is a great place for support! Love ya and hang in there.